Chelsea overcome monumental idiocy in Barcelona

It was perhaps Chelsea’s finest hour in European football, even if John Terry did his best to ruin it.

Chelsea overcome monumental idiocy in Barcelona

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April 25th, 2012

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Before we deal with Chelsea’s amazing performance in the Nou Camp, let’s first deal with the issue of Chelsea’s very own idiot abroad, John Terry.

For no reason whatsoever, the Chelsea captain decides that the best course of action for dealing with a player who has been running rings around him for 38 minutes was to stick a knee in the back of the opponent’s leg when he thought that the referee wasn’t looking. Unfortunately, the England captain’s cunning plan, a plan that was as cunning as a fox that used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning, was foiled by a pesky Turkish goal-line official (or whatever those guys are called) who saw the whole thing.

If the whole event wasn’t ridiculous enough, Terry went on to do his best possible “yeah but, no but” impression by arguing that it was all Alexis Sanchez’s fault for having the audacity to try and run past him and that he, in fact, didn’t do anything. When he was later shown the video, Terry did concede that his defence was completely ridiculous but that he would never, ever, attempt to hurt anybody (apart from Wayne Bridge of course, or American tourists at Heathrow Airport).

But onto Chelsea and a night that they’ll remember right up until their defeat in Munich – mainly because a decent chunk of the team that played last night will not be suspended.

With one of your centre-halves sent-off for being very stupid and another injured early on, Chelsea kept a second half clean sheet against the best attacking side in the world with two right backs at the heart of their defence and a midfielder at right back. OK, so they had the woodwork and a linesman’s flag to thank, but nevertheless, it was a fantastic performance that could never have been masterminded by a manager who had previously been sacked by West Brom.

Even Fernando Torres scored, although Gary Neville’s strange noise doesn’t really compare to Andy Gray’s “YOU BEEEEEAAAAAAUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYY!”

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