Five things we hated about Euro 2012
Thank-you Poland and Ukraine – you put on a fantastic tournament. Euro 2012 will be remembered fondly for some very good reasons. Europe’s four-yearly celebration of football passed off largely trouble free and had some pretty good games in there to boot. But there were a few things that we really didn’t like about Euro 2012 - here are just five of them.
July 12th, 2012
Music to celebrate goals
The playing of music to celebrate goals at any time should be punishable by immediate relegation. It’s a trend that has slowly crept into the game, probably because somebody at Norwich or Bolton once saw an American football match, or a rugby league match.
But if the playing of I Feel Good, Samba de Janeiro or Tom Hark wasn’t bad enough, the playing of whatever terrible Euro-pop was being pumped into our ear-drums in Poland and Ukraine (apparently a remix of Seven Nation Army) cannot be tolerated.
Oh, and we don’t care much for countdowns before the kick-off either.
References to the European economy
Watching Euro 2012 didn’t just provide you with football-based entertainment – it also provided you with a unique insight into the European Economic crisis.
Unfortunately, what many commentators didn’t grasp was that fans weren’t actually that interested in ill-informed opinion on the state of the Euro or how, by some miraculous coincidence, any action on the field could somehow be tenuously linked to a nation’s national debt.
The problem was particularly acute during the quarter-final between Germany and Greece – not exactly helped by the presence of German chancellor Angela Merkel in the crowd.
Message to ITV: We want to watch football, not Bloomberg.
Speaking of ITV, we have another message to you: If you are going to use people like Jamie Carragher as a pundit, please use subtitles so that those of us who expect our TV pundits to enunciate can understand.
The whole ITV panel was something of a joke in Euro 2012. Gareth Southgate looks genuinely afraid of Roy Keane. Keane couldn’t have looked or sounded more disinterested in the whole thing and, to try and hold it all together, we have Adrian Chiles.
Gratuitous television cutaways to female fans
We have no problem with women at football matches. In fact, we actively encourage them. But please UEFA-appointed host broadcaster, we do not need to see a shot of an attractive blonde after every single replay. If we really wanted to see that sort of thing, we’d be watching a channel that was somewhere in the 900’s section of our Sky Guide.
Whilst we’re at it, please stop using shots of opposing fans sitting and smiling together to ignore the flare-fuelled riot that’s taking place three rows back.
UEFA may have organised this tournament, but it’s success was in spite of it, not because of it. Ridiculous fines handed out for crowd behaviour, even more ridiculous fines handed out for wearing branded underpants, rubbish goal-line officials, the decision to expand to 24 teams in 2016 and then the suggestion that the championship should take place in cities “across Europe”. Please UEFA, just stop it now.